Finding Your ‘Mom Village’

For moms everywhere, every day should be Mother’s Day. Moms should take time to appreciate themselves, and lean on others when tackling the hurdles that come with being a parent. 

Whenever Mother’s Day comes around it’s a time that we moms should take a moment for ourselves and celebrate one another. 

And yet I can’t help but wonder… what it might be like if we all did this a little more often? 

Motherhood is no walk in the park, unless we’re talking Jurassic Park! It takes courage, patience, love, and the ability to stay positive even in the most trying of times. 

We strive to be good mothers. We start each day with the best of intentions. 

Many days those intentions fall to the wayside. Many days it's just about keeping our heads above water and prioritizing one demand after another. 

Our own priorities and needs so often get thrown in the back seat or completely out the window. We care lovingly for our children, but we so often forget that we also need to care for ourselves!  

Self-care can take many forms. The hard part is carving out time for it. But let’s remember — the better we care for ourselves, the better we can care for those we love. 

When we don’t make time for ourselves, everyone suffers and resentment can grow rapidly.

Setting aside time each week for yourself is critical! 

Take the time to step back and gain perspective, gratitude, rest — whatever you need. Rejuvenate yourself with a run in the park, meditation, music, prayer, a good book, or maybe a nice hot soak in the bath. 

 I already hear your excuses. It’s my excuse far too often too: “There’s no time.” 

But here’s the truth: we need to make the time! 

We also need to make the time to cultivate relationships. I have found that having the right people in your circle who encourage and support you is so key. It's not easy having a whole little human (or several) depending on you for everything. 

But you need people you can depend on too. Having a village is crucial! 

If you have family living near you, consider yourself lucky! If you don’t, it’s important to get out and talk with other adults during the day. Socialization is so very important for mental wellbeing. 

So get out! 

Sign up for a mommy-and-me class. Find friends at the park, the library kids’ section, indoor play spaces, your child’s school or daycare, your place of worship, or any class geared towards moms and/or babies.

After having children, friends that live in close proximity matter more than ever. You need someone nearby that you can call on for a quick cup of coffee. A person who can come over at a moment’s notice when you are about to lose it! 

If you need more people in your circle, you can go on via the village nanny share and care, River North Moms, Lakeview neighborhood on Facebook to find other parents nearby for friendships, playdates, kiddie carpooling, childcare swaps, and nanny shares are also options.

Other online Facebook groups are also an option. If you are able to find a good group of moms to share your experiences with, you are golden! Just be sure to steer clear of the drama-hungry groups. The ones quick to judge and tear you down. 

When considering online groups, look out for groups that value differences. Ones that understand that you don't always have to agree with a person to offer support. 

Moms, no matter if you work in the home, work from home, or out of the home, I want to say hats off to you — not only on Mother’s Day, but everyday! 

My hope for us all is that we will start making more time for ourselves and for one another. Let’s not be afraid to put ourselves out there! Let’s lend a listening ear or a helping hand. You never know the difference you might make for yourself and for others.